1. "In five years, this supposedly horrible thing won't even be a fart in your head. Don't worry about it."
You're right. It hardly ever crosses my mind, and when it does, it's because I'm retelling it for comedic purposes.
2. "You'd better start cleaning up after yourself. Your future boyfriend/husband/roommate won't put up with it."
You're right. They didn't. You did. At least to an extent. Thank you.
3. "If you put off college for a year, you'll never end up going."
You're right. I wouldn't have. I would've rented a van and drove to Canada and stopped showering, which--don't get me wrong--sounds incredible, but I'm sure it wouldn't look great on a resume.
4. "It's the strangest thing; time speeds up as you get older."
You're right. I'm pretty sure the year used to have 365 days. Why is there only one week between Thanksgiving and Christmas now? Since when does my birthday happen bimonthly?
5. "If you're not first priority to him in the beginning, you'll never be first priority to him."
You're right. In fact, the list of more-importants just kept getting longer and longer.
6. "You're an old soul. That's okay. They'll catch up."
You're right. Knitting's cool now. Who knew?
7. "One day, you'll wish you were younger."
You're right. I spend all day wishing I could do nothing with my time, and then feel guilty about it once I do.
8. "You look like a raccoon. Stop with the eyeliner."
You're right. Sometimes when I doubt you, I go back to my earliest photos on facebook. They are heinous. Simply heinous. 9. "They're all just pretending. No one's actually confident in middle school."
You're right. I guess that's why they spent so much of their time trying to knock everyone else down.
10. "This is a trend, and trends pass."
You're right. I'm sorry I made you buy me so many veltet tights. And so much denim.
11. "I don't understand how staying up late makes you cool."
You're right. It doesn't. You know what's cool? Digestive regularity, and actually being able to function at work.
12. "You can say something with an attitude, or you can say it nicely. Both take the same amount of effort."
You're right. Both take the same amount of effort, and one's a hell of a lot more effective.
13. "I'm a person. I mess up sometimes, too."
Yeah, maybe. But your endless wisdom makes up for it.